I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
