I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
