Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
