No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
