Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
