I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
