oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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