Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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