I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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