Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize