im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
