oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize