They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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