Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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