Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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