well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
