I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
