In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
