My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
