you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
