Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
