Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
