Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
