I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
