new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I still have a little drunk in my system
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
