never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
