His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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