Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
