She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Randomize
