we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
