My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
