i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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