Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
