I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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