i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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