Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
