So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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