I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
