The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
