I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
