I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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