how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He better not be in your backpack
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
