Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
