I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
