she woke up with a sticky ear
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So vagazzling was a success
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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