we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
