She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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