When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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