Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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