This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think your dad took our porno
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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