Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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