you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Will exercising make me less horny?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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