ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
