I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
