She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
