can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
