You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I will be naked everywhere
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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