I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
