Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
