How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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