The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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