Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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