I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
