I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
